What To Do Before An Uncorrected Love?

He unrequited love , For its devastating force and drama, has always been one of the great themes of literature, theater and music. It is a universal, deep and painful human feeling that has made infinite hearts tremble throughout history and continues to do so every day.

You may be living yourself, and if it is causing you discomfort, you can overcome it and forget it.

From the troubadours to the movie stars, it has been represented by countless characters from popular culture, film, and its essence has been transmitted through mythology, poetry, songs and even today, television series ; But also and above all, unrequited love is reflected in people of flesh and blood who like you or I continue to experience it every day.

Unrequited love is that of those who love and do not receive the same kind of affection in return, thus creating a feeling that is not reciprocal and travels in a single direction, which grows unevenly between two people and where one of them, leaves Hurt

It is undoubtedly one of the most painful types of romantic love, but what are their effects on the body and mind?, what psychological pathologies can cause their suffering? How to overcome an unrequited love? Find the answers to these questions and many others in our analysis.

Effects of unrequited love

Whoever has felt it does not need explanations, and anyone who has seen a friend, family member or anyone close to him suffer it, will know it well: the effects are very similar to the one that one experiences when being in love, but instead of feeling the happiness and the Joy that seeing the other person feel the same for us, that ecstasy of falling in love is transformed into anguish and frustration, encouraging irritability and isolation of those who suffer.

Those who are in love tend to seek correspondence tirelessly without finding it, so it is usual to be immersed in melancholy, and sink into a sadness that leads to crying, or in some cases even anger.

When the beloved person corresponds to our love, it brings with it a feeling of ecstasy beneficial to our organism, but when it rejects us, what favors are feelings of agony and hopelessness.

In this way, reciprocal love (corresponded, which implies a union with the other) is associated with fulfillment and ecstasy; While unrequited love (rejection, separation) is associated with emptiness, anxiety and hopelessness.

The Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said that" Loving someone deeply gives us strength. Feeling deeply loved by someone gives us courage ", However, when the feeling is not reciprocal, the opposite happens, and that force, that value, vanishes, damaging our self-esteem.

From feeling to illness

There are many experts in health and psychology who over the years have emphasized the importance of diagnosis and treatment of this type of love, since it is no longer a state that the individual can pass at some point in life, but also in Some cases of the beginning of a disease.

If you long for someone who does not correspond to you by living an unrequited love, you often experience a deep sadness that if not overcome in time, can become depression and bring pictures of anxiety.

Frank Talis, a clinical psychologist in London, is one of the professionals who have indicated the condition of unrequited love as a disease, not a simple state, in The Psychologist.

And more and more experts agree that love sentences can kill, and must be taken seriously at the time of diagnosis. The psychologist says that many are those who because of an unrequited love can destabilize, experience suffering and in some cases, clinical conditions that can even lead to suicide.

However, despite the universal problem, few scientific studies refer to the"specific problem of lovemaking,"even when this love affair could lead people to take their own lives.

What I believe, and based on data, is that if One can die of sadness .

The Obsessive Lover

On many occasions this love may be due to unrequited lovers maintaining an attachment to their lost love. Maybe it's because they can not accept the reality of a couple that already loves us, that their thoughts or emotions come to have no rational control or an incorrect interpretation of what happens.

In these cases, it gives the profile of what the experts have come to call the obsessive lover. He interprets each curse or refusal as a pretext to be more persevering, and some psychologists (Baumeister and Wotman) suggest that this kind of love usually arises when a person tries to relate to someone more attractive, to whom he believes intellectually superior or to others Circumstances, unattainable, and for whom one feels a great passion.

A different concept although not very distant to this description is the harassment, since it represents the worse version of a situation of unrequited love. The harasser (an obsessive lover who exceeds the limits of all rationality, morality and respect), pursues a non-mutual interaction, which unlike obsessive love, involves the use of force or psychological abuse to achieve their goals of form Forced and at all costs.

This is the most severe type of unrequited love for the one who rejects, since what began as an affection becomes a harassment and can become violent when the loved one does not accede to the harasser's desire.

The suffering of the one who rejects

Recent studies have shown that those who reject suffer as much as those who are rejected. And it is not necessary to suffer the harassment of an obsessive lover, but the compassion, the difficulty of expressing firmly a negative and the fear of damaging the feelings of the other, lead to who is the focus of the desire to suffer as much as the one who is in love .

In the case mentioned in the previous section, it is obvious that the other party may also be damaged, but many times we forget that those who do not provide such reciprocity,

How to forget and overcome it

Whoever suffers from an unrequited love can get to feel in a bottomless hole, a dark room where hope does not exist and where the future can not be glimpsed. However, if you find yourself in this situation it is very important to put all the means to recover the reins of your life and not give up.

The most important and at the same time most difficult: Regain love for yourself , The courage and the courage to get ahead. That a person does not correspond your love does not mean that you are not deserving of it. You must understand, although it is complicated, that although the person you are in love with is not of you, this does not mean that nobody loves you or deserves love.

Let yourself be helped, surrounded by people who support you and with whom you can share what you feel. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the middle of a crush, but hundreds of people have gone through this before. Discovering how they did it can help you and open your eyes on your situation. You are not alone, so instead of retracirte, do not hesitate to accept the help of who loves you and values.

Most people can understand love on some level and maybe they can tell you their own experiences about how they excel An infatuation . Even if you have not had a personal experience with this problem, they can give you good advice or just keep you company during bad times.

Unrequited love makes us feel incomplete, empty, desperate, sad, lost... remember that the way to remedy this is to connect with someone outside of yourself, so do not lock yourself in and share what you feel.

Encourage your passions, your hobbies and pay attention to what is best and what you enjoy most to help you Recover self-esteem And not think excessively about that feeling. The longer you are, the sooner you will realize that life goes on and even if you are still in love, you will come to the conclusion that this person, although very important, is not everything in your life.

It's difficult, I know, but you have to keep going, and you can. Trust yourself and above all, love yourself more. The most important love is always the one you offer yourself, so despite how complicated an unrequited love may be, think of yourself and you will find that you deserve to go forward.