Managing and managing emotions is one of the most important skills you can learn. They are part of emotional intelligence and if you develop it you will have a higher quality of life, develop better personal relationships and have more professional success.
In this article I will explain How to control emotions Negative feelings and feelings to have a more pleasant life, build good relationships and avoid conflicts.
The well-known German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche has already said:"Thoughts come when they want and not when we wish."
The Negative emotions Appear and disappear, and many times we can not handle them. On the other hand, we see that in the same situation people react differently.
About the level of management you can have about your emotions there are different theories, however most of them agree on something: the way a person interprets their emotions determines the way that experience lives.
In that sense, it is possible to handle them properly and the way you experience and interpret them will depend on you.
7 tips to control your emotions
The emotional plane is very variable and dependent on the personality each.
The experiences you have had and how you have processed them is what largely determines how you act and feel today.
You may not be able to avoid feeling certain negative or unpleasant emotions, but you can handle them so that they affect you as little as possible and allow you to live happily.
Here are some practices and ways of thinking that will help you control your emotions:
1-Look for ways to distract yourself
When you feel go to Or much anxiety , Never let these feelings invade you; Try to change the tuning immediately.
The reason for the rage or the anxiety surely you have it defined, no more reflections on the matter.
Distraction is very effective for emotions such as anger and anxiety, whose effects are seen in the short term.
Regarding the ways to distract you, you have many. The important thing is to get to do something else when you feel anger.
2-Think about your nearest future
When you are particularly sad, confused and can not think clearly, this practice can be very useful.
Whatever it is that is preventing you from thinking clearly, put a brake on it. Do not project in the very long term and only think about the immediate future.
Uncertainty is one of the most difficult feelings to handle. It is the key ingredient to unleash anxiety and then there comes the anguish of not being able to solve things.
When you think about the longer term, the more complex it will turn out. You will see an infinity of obstacles and you will not see any exit. There you run the risk of succumbing.
Think about the most immediate to solve and focus your energies on it. Then there will be time to move on to the next problem.
Ask yourself the following question: What is the worst that can happen to you? The answer generally shows you that the situation is not as serious as you think. Anxious or anxious people tend to oversize problems.
When you are anxious to get a result, and you would want to see it right away, you will have a calvary. You have organized your son's birthday and there are rain forecasts. You begin to distress yourself and you do not know what to do.
Cancel everything or wait for the day to arrive? You do not stand the anxiety and your bad mood begins. What is the worst that can happen if it rains? That the children can not be in the yard and have to enter the living room? Maybe it's not so serious and you're worrying about it.
If you are constantly worried and that state lasted several months you may have generalized anxiety.
3-Practice relaxation techniques or meditation
It is scientifically proven That meditation Helps to eliminate negative thoughts. It has nothing to do with philosophical or religious beliefs. They are only practices that promote a state of relaxation and disconnection from everything that overwhelms.
You are in the digital age and your mind is bombarded daily with lots of instant information. Everything is designed to make things faster and you do not have to wait. The current rhythm of life often encourages the anxiety to get more things faster.
Take some time to disconnect from the everyday, practice Relaxation techniques , Relax your mind and release stress.
This is a step by step for beginners of meditation:
Step by Step:
- Sit upright in a comfortable chair, putting one hand on your stomach and another on your chest
- Breathe through your nose for 4 seconds slowly, so that the hand of your stomach rises and the hand on your chest rises very little
- Hold the air for 4 seconds
- Exhale through the mouth for 4 seconds slowly, expelling as much air as you can, while contracting the abdomen
- The seconds that you comment are a proposal, make modifications until you feel totally comfortable. Practice is the key
4-Take time to see things from another perspective
It is not easy, especially when you are living in a situation that generates anguish or fear, but it is absolutely necessary.
It does not matter what you intend to do or if you have not thought of anything yet. When the emotions are in full bloom you have a very limited perspective of what is happening.
When you take time to let the emotions of the moment pass, to pose other hypotheses or simply to settle, then you will see the situation in a different way.
5-Develop a critical spirit
If you can do it when your emotions have not yet invaded you then better. That way you can make a more objective assessment. If there is an emotion that makes you feel bad and is recurring then there is something that is not right.
When experiencing a distressing situation or a lot of anger is frequent, obviously there is something in you that is out of control.
That does not mean that you are guilty or have irreversible defects. That means there are things about you that you can change.
Albert Einstein said that if you do something whose result is negative and continue doing so in the same way, then you can not expect the result to change. The moral is: change what is not working!
6-Find the engine of your emotions
Whatever emotion you experience, that makes you feel good or bad, you need to understand how the mechanism that triggers it is activated.
Understanding why we acted or felt in a certain way before certain stimuli, is part of the first Concept of emotional intelligence . In order to be able to modify or control something, you must have a well-identified"something"and know it well.
If you feel an uncontrollable fury every time someone of authority makes you an observation or sanction, then there is a recurring element.
Ask yourself what really bothers you and identifies the stages of the process that lead you to that state.
That way you can understand what really makes you so angry, and as a consequence you can control the cause that causes anger.
7-Think of your virtues and all that is good in you.
If you are very angry or very sad about something try to think of the good things that have happened to you.
Rage and sadness are two very different types of emotions, but both make us suffer. If we are angry because we are late for work because of a setback, think about the following: most of the time you arrive early, so being late is not once so serious.
Instead of concentrating on cursing the traffic and the government for not having proper rules of circulation, think that you are a responsible person. That is why you have earned"certain rights", and this is an occasion to use it.
If you are sad because you can not afford the money to buy a car and you have to walk a lot, think that anyway you are very lucky.
There are those who are in a wheel chair, would give everything to walk. It is not about being conformist, but about knowing how to value what you have.
Emotions are part of the human essence, and the idea is not to try to feel less. The key is to handle the emotions in such a way that they allow you to live a full and happy life.
8-Write about your emotions
Although in these times writing a newspaper is not in fashion, it is a technique that gives good results.
Writing is a form of expression, and although you may prefer other ways of doing it, it has great advantages.
When you are sad, angry or very distressed, write with your words everything you feel. Think what you are going to write does not have to be read by anyone, if you do not want to.
When you write do not save any words or comments. Everything will be very useful to download everything negative, and when later you read it, you can relate that mood to what happened next, and if the experience was good then you can repeat it.
Writing is very beneficial for when you feel very confused. If you have many ideas but you can not prioritize, write them in the order that arises.
Then read them carefully and see priorities as you can. Frequently reading those priorities will help you stay focused on what you have defined.
And how are you writing your personal journal?