Toxic relationships can occur in couples, relatives, friends or acquaintances and their main characteristic is that the relationship has negative consequences for both parties, one of the two members usually having the most negative influence.
In this article you will find 10 characteristic signs that are given in the Toxic couple relationships That will help you find out if you find yourself in this situation.
When you feel the desire to share your life with one partner, you seek to obtain affection and support from the other. That every day and every moment shared with that person, mean positive emotions and that you rejoice the life.
You also want that to be in both directions, that is to say that the other person can also feel the same as you.
But sometimes, instead, every moment in common with your partner only makes you feel sad, outraged, or even devalued. When that situation is recurrent, it is that you are living a relationship detrimental to your mental well-being.
10 Signs of Toxic Couple Relationships
Pay attention to some of the following situations and behaviors, they may be signs that you are living a toxic relationship:
1-A person is the leader of the relationship
What does leadership mean in an emotional context? That one of the two people is the one who makes the important decisions, it is the one that guides the times and it is ultimately who defines the direction that that pair leads.
This situation is more likely to occur when one of the two members has a more permeable temperament against certain pressures. Also, greater vulnerability causes the other to take charge of the couple.
This behavior is not healthy, although it can be very comfortable for those who are"led"but in the long run, that person will feel devalued and not very taxing.
It is critical that neither partner is emotionally dependent.
2-The two members of the couple are co-dependent
Similar to the first sign, but in this case both people depend on each other.
Sometimes it is easy to confuse love with dependence, because it is believed that love requires the other to live.
No one should need anyone to live, in order to have a healthy relationship. Although it seems that the pain of A separation Will be unbearable, need or fear are never valid reasons to keep a couple.
The main consequence this brings is resentment. Over time, a grudge is fed to the other.
At the least thought the blame Will explode and the other will be to blame for all the bad that is happening to you.
Each member must be responsible for himself and the decisions he makes, otherwise the problems will soon appear.
3-The past tends to justify the present
When this happens, one of the main signs of a toxic relationship is.
It uses the past of each one, with its positive and negative aspects, to justify the current events.
Generally, in a toxic relationship the things that the other did wrong were used to blame him.
When one of the two members of the pair, recurrently speaks of the past to refer to the present actions, it seeks to manipulate the other.
In the event that they are both, those who"appeal"to this resource, this will result in a competition to see who made the most mistakes.
If this is happening to you, you are on the wrong path, for nothing good can be built from guilt and reproach.
4-When spoken in terms of"complete"
When a couple expresses and experiences certain behaviors in terms of completing each other, it is a clear sign that there are problems.
Frequently one hears phrases like,"in a true couple they complete each other", or that"both find in the other what each one does not have".
This is a mistake, as each person must"complete"and fulfill their expectations for himself.
That each one learns of the other's virtues and understands their defects, does not mean complementing oneself. Every person has his flaws and his virtues and based on it is that he should try to improve every day.
You can not find in the other what I lack. If you really need something, try to cultivate it and try it yourself.
5-When the lie is recurrent
If you are in a relationship where you know the other is hiding something from you or hiding something, then you are in a toxic relationship.
Never under any circumstances should you justify this attitude, even if it is an omission. If there are things that the other person can not tell you, either out of fear or out of trust, then it's a sign that things are not working as they should.
It is common that in certain situations people fail to say things to their partner because they believe that"they will react better"or simply do not want to bitter.
If your case is one of these, then you're lying. And the lie can never be justified.
6-Blackmail is currency
When in a relationship emotional blackmail happens to be a resource, then you are in a sick relationship.
For it to happen blackmail , There must be two parties that consent. If you have to blackmail the other is that you are not naturally getting the answer you want, and if that happens you have to talk about it.
If you are the blackmailer, it is that you have contributed to create spaces to generate these unhealthy situations in a couple.
7-True forgiveness does not exist
When you are in a relationship where you can not ask, receive, or offer forgiveness, simply because you know it would not be heartfelt, then it is another sign of toxicity.
When in a couple there is no room for genuine and genuine forgiveness, there is not enough openness or willingness for that couple to grow.
Sometimes it is easy to say"I forgive you"but within you there is a resentment, because it seems to you that what you did is very serious and you will not forget it.
When shortly after asking for forgiveness the situation is recurrent, then there was no sincerity when asking for forgiveness or accepting it.
8-When in the relationship there is an aggressive member and a passive member
People are different and it is expected that in a couple there is one that has a more prominent character than the other. But this does not mean that a relationship of domination should be established.
When the member who has a more passive character becomes subject to ill-treatment, then the bond is sickly.
9-The relationship is projected in ideal scenarios
When a couple lives a projected relationship in perfect situations, it is not a Healthy relationship .
Nothing and no one can be based on ideal facts, for the simple reason that ideality and perfection do not exist.
When a couple thinks in terms of perfection and idealization, they are not living reality, which is why they are not growing.
10-The relationship is in the background
If each member of the couple has independent projects is a good sign.
However, the opposite end if it is negative: that there is no plan in common.
In order for a healthy relationship to exist, it is recommended that you share common projects with your partner and have projects and life apart.
Why do we get involved in a toxic relationship?
There are several reasons, but among the most frequent are the following:
"An almost uncontrollable desire to be in a couple, just to not be alone. Such is the need that you feel to have a partner, who is willing to pay any price.
In this case, there may be a personality disorder per dependency.
- Low self-esteem . This can make the person justify many behaviors of an unhealthy relationship.
A person may think that he deserves to live in a relationship that does not fully satisfy him. Feel that it deserves it, no more.
Difficulty living in"solitude". Socially, there is considerable pressure on the Live in solitude . In fact, the word solitude usually takes on a misleading meaning in this context.
Being almost synonymous with failure, it is frowned upon to meet friends, and just be the one who is not in pair. "Poor! What a shame it has no partner,"is a common phrase to represent this behavior.
When a person is vulnerable, he or she becomes a partner at the first opportunity that crosses the road.
CONCLUSIONS
The good news is that you can get out of a toxic relationship, while the bad news is that it is not usually a simple process.
One of the big reasons why it is not easy is because it can often cost you to realize that you are involved in a toxic couple.
The family or the immediate environment is the first to warn that the situation is not right. They see you sad and worried /, and are often accomplices of situations in which the couple shows their crisis.
Every human being has his strategy, but talking about the subject and seeking help are usually the best tools when visualizing the problem in its true dimension.
Once you have achieved it, you can take the plan that best suits your case and thus end the relationship that makes you sick.
And have you experienced any of these signs of toxic relationships? I am interested in your opinion. Thanks!