The Behavior problems In the classroom, primary school children, preschool children, and children in general, are in many cases due to the fact that children receive more attention - and more reinforcement - when they have a bad behavior than when they act Correctly.
In order for psychoeducational treatment in the child and adolescent population to be successful, parents should be Modification of these Behaviors, since children act according to the context in which they are.
Behavioral problems in more common children
1. Tantrums
This is a very common problem in children, which you have probably experienced on numerous occasions.
The tantrums of the children, the loud and sudden cries and cries are a source of discomfort for the parents and, in many cases, the Children get away with it by acting in this way.
It is considered normal when it is manifested between 2 and 3 years, being less frequent in older ages.
It is even more annoying for parents when Temper tantrums Are produced in crowded places - such as a restaurant, a shopping center, a supermarket, Etc. - since they come to annoy the people around.
On these occasions, parents are much more likely to give in to requests from children to prevent an even greater tantrum, Leaving them in evidence in public.
If you want to reduce the number of tantrums, you should follow the following instructions to modify your child's behavior:
First of all, you should know that the best thing to do in these cases is to withdraw the attention to your child.
This is called"extinction technique", since the purpose is to extinguish or eliminate certain behaviors of the child.
To carry out this technique, you must be willing to withstand a first moment of even greater tantrums.
He thinks that your son is accustomed to get his way after a few minutes, so if you are not working for hours, he will have the so-called" The extinction."
It is also important that you begin by clearly explaining to your child what is going to happen from now on, which would be something like this (in the case of That is 6 years old):
" Well, you're 6 and you're a big boy, so from now on I will not listen to you when you scream, cry or patalees. If you want something, you have to ask for it and talk like a 6-year-old."
If the child has been attentive and listened to your explanation, he will be able to understand it. Therefore, do not repeat the instructions over and over again. That in that way, you would be paying attention.
At first, the child may think that you will give in some time and that will end up depleting your patience as has happened on other occasions.
So, to take your instructions seriously, it is important that you prove that it will not happen, that you will not listen to him no matter how much you shout.
If your temper tantrums occur on the street, on the way to school, simply take him by the hand and accompany him to the center, without reacting to his attitude.
Do not yell or lose control of the situation. Stay calm and be consistent with the explanation you have given your child.
The moment you calm down and begin to talk in a calm way, you try and reinforce this behavior.
As we said at the beginning of this article, the main cause of behavioral problems in children is that they tend to get more attention when they behave Wrong than when they act in a correct way.
It is also important that you tell the usual caregivers of your child (grandparents, nanny, etc.) how they should act with them, so that Have a consistent attitude and the child can generalize their behavior.
2. Aggressiveness and Challenging Behaviors
Children presenting Aggressive behavior Constantly cause a lot of discomfort to their parents, since they perceive that they can not dominate Your child and control their behavior.
As Javier Urra, author of the book" The Little Dictator ", They are children who "Do not tolerate failures, do not accept frustration. They blame others for the consequences of their actions,"etc.
Little by little, these children take control of the people around them, doing what they want and with the certainty that their parents do not They will counteract.
As you can see, this is a problem that is getting worse over time, so it should start to be treated as soon as possible.
The smaller the child, the more moldable it is and the easier it will be to end this problem.
Therefore, if your child is aggressive, such as the one we are describing, you should do the following:
Learn to say NO . Even if he threatens, insults or attacks you, you must maintain your position and make him see that you will not give in if he acts that way. Be firm and do not let it be
Get away with this behavior.
Never use physical punishment . This type of punishment usually does not work and only causes frustration and violence against other people or objects.
Look for violent figures around you: Children are very vulnerable to the context in which they find themselves. Often, those children who exhibit aggressive behavior have friends who Behave in the same way.
It is advisable to have a control of the children with whom your child relates and make him spend less time with them if necessary.
Here you should also emphasize the series, movies or video game For which your child shows interest. The media can reach Violent behaviors.
3. Sphincter control problems
The acquisition of the Sphincter control Occurs at different ages, depending on the child in question.
Normally, these ages range from 2 to 6 years, with control of pox and then of urine first.
Sometimes, children control pee during the day but have night retention problems, to a later age.
If your child has difficulty with sphincter control, the first thing to do is to consult a specialist doctor who discards Physiological problems.
It is a common mistake to try to start a psychological therapy without first having to go to the doctor.
If medical problems are ruled out, several different methods can be initiated:
Modify day and night habits. If your child can not control peeing at night, you can change some routines, such as avoiding excessive drinking from dinner or waking him up At the time the episode of incontinence usually occurs.
If you wake up for 10-15 minutes before you pee in bed, you can go to the bathroom and prevent this from happening.
Positive practice overcorrection technique. It is a technique in which the child is taught to repair the damage caused by inappropriate action. In this case, after the episode of Incontinence, the child is instructed to change the sheets, look and change pajamas.
Technique of the pipi-stop. Although it presents more difficulties, since it is necessary to install a machine in house, its effectiveness is amply demonstrated. This technique consists of
In sounding an alarm when it is detected that the child is wetting the bed.
Therefore, the child wakes up and can interrupt the episode and prevent incontinence. We recommend this method if your child Frequent incontinence (consultation with a specialist).
4. Low motivation to study
You may have experienced frustration with your child because you did not spend so much time To study How would you like it.
Many parents have the same feeling today, since we live in a highly competitive society that attaches great importance to the results At the expense of effort.
Another frequent problem is to think that children should not be rewarded for doing their duty, since it is considered a form of" blackmail ".
However, you should keep in mind that children do not yet understand the importance of studying, so they will not be motivated if they do not get prizes or Short-term rewards.
If you want Increase your child's motivation to study , Establishes with him a series of daily, weekly and quarterly rewards.
For example: "If you spend 2 hours a day at school, you can choose between:
Take the bike for 45 minutes.
Watch the TV 30 minutes.
Play with the computer for 30 minutes.
Choosing Dinner".
As you can see in this example, several prizes are offered, to avoid satiation.
It is also important that the time of the activity is established previously, so that there is no confusion or conflict when interrupting the prize.
Like you can do with quarterly prizes, where you can offer your child / s excursions, visits to an amusement park, end-of-trip trips Week, etc.
The important thing here is that you adapt to your interests and look for ways to reinforce your effort in the study.
In this way, just as adults work to get an economic enhancer - wages - children will work to get what they Interests
5. Shyness and insecurity
The Shyness in children Does not cause as much concern for their parents as the problems described above, since they do not alter the dynamics And are not often the cause of conflict.
In fact, many children have been classified as shy since childhood and have not been given any attention to this problem.
Nowadays, the interest for this type of children is increasing, since it is demonstrated that the children with social skills Will have a better Academic, social and family development.
Here are some specific tips for you to apply if your child is especially shy and thinks that he or she may create problems Relationship with others:
Tell him how to behave to others. Use specific instructions, such as"say hello to those children and ask if you can play with them", instead of giving general and Unspecific.
Behave like a role model. If you want your child to behave more openly with others, he acts the same way when he is in front.
Greet the people of the establishments you go to, have small conversations with neighbors and acquaintances, etc. This will help your child have
A good reference model to imitate.
Do not compare with other children . Comparisons can make your child feel inferior, so it is discouraged to say things like"look how well you behave That boy".
If you want to imitate the behavior of other more sociable children, try to praise them saying:"how nice, how kind is that child who has Come to greet us."
In this way, you are not telling your son how bad he is related, but how well another does.
It reinforces the advances it shows, even if they are small. This problem of shyness requires time and dedication for you to notice important effects.
At the beginning, encourage him to do simple behaviors such as saying goodbye to others by hand, or greet when you arrive at a place saying good morning.
Reinforce these behaviors by telling him how well you have done it, and do not push him when you see that he is uncomfortable in some situation.
Little by little, you can be more demanding with the behaviors you ask, like telling him to order the soda he wants from the waiter directly.
Remember that it is very important that you pay adequate attention to your children and the behavior they present, since the sooner the Problem, the easier it will be to remedy it.
And you, what other behavioral problems do you observe in your children?
References
1. Caraveo-Anduaga, J.J., Colmenares-Bermúdez, E., & Martínez-Vélez, N.A. (2002). Symptoms, perception and demand for mental health care in children and adolescents in Mexico City. Public Health of Mexico, 44 (6), 492-498.
2. Eastman, M., & Rozen, S.C. (2000). Boredom and tantrums: tips for achieving family harmony.
3. Fernández, L. R., & Armentia, S. L. L. (2006). Night enuresis. Pediatric Nephrology, V Garcia Nieto, F Santos Rodríguez, B Rodríguez-Iturbe, 2ªed. Aula Medica, 619-29.
4. Juan Urra. The little Dictator. When the parents are the victims.
5. Olivares, J., Rosa, A. I., Piqueras, J.A., Sánchez-Meca, J., Méndez, X., & García-López, L.J. (2002). Shyness and social phobia in children and adolescents: an emerging field. Behavioral Psychology, 523-542.
6. Pernasa, P.D., & de Lunab, C.B. (2005). The tantrums in childhood: what they are and how to advise parents. Pediatric Care Magazine Primary, 7 (25).