The businessman Jim Rohn, speaker motivational , he assures that people are the mix of the 5 people with whom we spend more time , more or less. Perhaps not so much the mixture, but if we are the consequence of its influence. Most of the time, one of those five people is your partner, someone with whom you spend most of your time, so, most likely, their influence on you is even higher. In today's article we want to explain what it is the Michelangelo effect by which your partner, and maybe some of the people closest to you, can get to influence you and get the best out of you.
What is the Miguel Ángel effect?
That your partner is an influence for you is not a bad thing as long as it is a positive influence, that is, that it brings out the best in you and helps you get closer every day to the "I" that you want to be, to your ideal.
The term Michelangelo Effect emerged as a result of a study carried out in 1999 and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology . The concept
"Describes the means by which the self is configured by the perceptions and behavior of a close companion"
The concept comes from the idea that someone close to you has a role as a sculptor, as was Michelangelo, and helps you get the best out of yourself, what you want to be.
"I saw the angel in marble and carved it until I freed it"
as Michelangelo said about his sculpture of David. Basically, you are the marble block, and your partner is the sculptor who makes you resurface .
According to the authors of the study, this Michelangelo effect is the product of the affirmation of the couple or "the degree to which the perceptions of the self and the behavior of the couple are congruent with the ideal of the self".
This must be taken into account as long as the exemplary vision of your partner matches yours. Your partner can be the support you need to reach your ideal self. Actually, then, the real artist is you, but your partner works as a reflex where to have your goals in view. What is clear, then, is that the influence of your partner should be a good influence, since the opposite and according to a 2016 study, the phenomenon that would occur is called Blueberry "in which interdependent individuals take the worst qualities from each other" .
So, not only is it important to be with someone who supports you and shares your vision of your ideal self, but it is also about your becoming, at the same time, your encouraging person. The best way you have to help drive your partner towards his ideal of himself is to put into practice "Affirmation of the couple"
Taking into account a 2009 study, there are two elements of affirmation to be taken into account: the affirmation of the perception of the partner and the affirmation of the behavior of the partner, which may be conscious or subconscious.
The perceptive affirmation is to believe that the ideals of your partner are the same as yours. You can work to consciously adopt this perception. The affirmation of behavior, however, is when you act in a way that affirms the ideals of your partner. If you share your partner's ideals, these actions may be unconscious, but you can also consciously show this type of support.
It is important to mention that encouraging your partner to become your ideal self is different from encouraging them to become the ideal you have in mind. You can not change a person you want to be, unless that's what she wants to be, too. The magic of the phenomenon of Michelangelo lies in the alignment of common goals: you and your partner think of your partner's ideal being in the same way, and both of you strive to help make that ideal come true.
It is very important in life, to always be a good influence for those who cross our lives. In the same way that It is important to know how to choose the people around us and to get away from the toxic relationships that keep us from being who we want to be . Knowing this, what kind of partner are you? Do you think you help the people around you to be better people? Are you proud of the relationships you currently have? Tell us what you do to encourage or inspire others and explain that you aspire to be. What qualities would lead you to be your ideal self? We are looking forward to reading you!