Today you will have hundreds of options to take, so many that can lead you to feel bad, sad or worried.
This indecision Is one of the causes of unhappiness. In fact there are psychologists who have stated that we are not happy because of all the options we have and on which we have to decide.
Maybe if you had fewer options, you could be happier. However, in my opinion it is good to have options and the more the better. The main thing is that you do not get confused and know how to put the variety in your favor.
Here are some examples of situations that can lead to indecision:
- Having to choose between a university career or another.
- Have to choose whether to accept a job or not.
- Accept a marriage proposal or not.
- Decide whether to accept a business agreement.
- Decide whether or not to have a child.
However, for some people the state of indecision is frequent and even in everyday situations:
- Having to choose what to wear to get out.
- Choose what to eat.
- Choose which product to buy from all the options.
- Choose what movie to see if you go to the movies.
- Choose whether to accept an invitation to a party or not.
It is in these latter cases of chronic indecision that there is a real problem.
I'm interested in your opinion. You can comment at the end of the article. What problems do you usually have in choosing between different options? What do you do to choose better? Thank you?
There is no human being more miserable than one in which nothing is habitual, except indecision.- William James .
Indecision is often worse than a bad performance.-Henry Ford.
INDEX
1-Why are some people undecided?
2-What makes a person determined?
3-Is it always bad to feel indecision?
4-Why is it important to be decided?
5-How to make decisions and leave behind the indecision
Why are some people hesitant?
It is often due to fear of making a wrong decision.
You can think of thoughts like: What if I make a mistake? What if it makes me worse? And if I can not then I can go back and choose the other option?
Perfectionism Is another cause, since it tends to think which option will lead to the perfect result, which will avoid errors.
Other reasons are:
- Lack of selfesteem .
- Stress.
- Seek approval from others .
- Lack of learning: in some children parents make all the decisions and when the maturity arrives, the adult has learned that it is best to remain without deciding, not having developed decision-making skills.
What makes a person determined?
In general, people in society admire determined people, who make decisions without bacillary.
I would say that a person is determined if:
- Take decisions Important after having thought through the consequences or even after growing personally and having known better. For example: choose one career or another, state policies, company policies...
- Make unimportant decisions fast and knowing that they will not have negative consequences. For example: choose a product or another, choose what clothes to wear, watch a movie or other...
In the first case, it is necessary to reflect and think about the consequences, pros and cons because the choice will have consequences on yourself or other people.
In the second case, your decision will have minor and unimportant consequences.
Therefore, it is not a question of choosing what to do impulsively and without thinking. Sometimes you have to think and, when the time comes, the decision will be made.
Is it always bad to feel indecision?
In reality, indecision is not always negative.
Doubt can be a sign that you should take your time to make decisions, that you care about a result and makes you think about consequences, pros and cons.
You can doubt yourself by feeling good. It would be a state in which you would think:"choosing between my current job or the one offered to me is complicated, I have to think about it, although in any case it is a good chance to choose."
In addition, and as the social scientist Daniel Newark says, indecision can become a space to clarify our beliefs and values, and can facilitate the development of personal identity.
On the other hand, something important is not to maintain the state of indecision forever, but to put a limit in which to choose one option or another.
When indecision is negative it is when it is chronic and when it causes feelings of discomfort.
Why is it important to be decided?
Indecision can have negative consequences in several areas of life:
- Leadership: If you are the leader of a team, you will have to be constantly making decisions and doing well and being decided will reinforce Your leadership .
- Welfare and health: investigations How is it going , Have indicated that indecision can lead to depressive symptoms.
- Opportunities happen: if you do not make decisions fast enough, some good opportunity may happen and you will not take advantage of it. Luck is preparation plus seizing opportunities.
- Productivity: learning to decide what to do during the day will allow you to be more productive and get the most benefits for time spent. Deciding what to spend your time on is really important.
- Stress: it is probably the most uncomfortable symptom that occurs most in undecided people. You make a decision after long moments of indecision can be terribly liberating.
- Not having control of your life: If you decide not to decide, other people will make the decisions for you, not those that you are happy.
- It can lead to feelings of low self-esteem.
How to overcome indecision
Your state of indecision can be resolved by changing your thinking and behavior.
Of course, and like everything else, the greater your difficulty in making decisions, the more you will have to strive.
1-How important is the result?
-When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.-Roy E. Disney.
When you begin to doubt, not knowing what to do, ask yourself: What importance does the result have?
If it is of little importance, like choosing what food can you take from a supermarket, you should make a decision without taking too much time.
According to scientific research, people are poor predictors of what makes us happy.
You may think that certain events will ruin your life - an illness, running out of work, having no partner - but rarely do we succeed. On the other hand, what you think will make you happy-money, having a partner, having a huge house-probably will not make you happy.
What I mean is you can not predict the future. You're always going to run the risk of making a mistake. Therefore, the smart thing is to choose Which aligns with your values And you think it brings you closer to the person you want to be.
Your future happiness will be decided by your"future self"not by your"I of now." It is evident that the decisions you make now influence your future, so you will have to take What you think will have a better result in the future and more conform to your values.
What decision is in line with the person you want to become and with your values?
2-Accept responsibility
There are people who are hesitant to avoid taking responsibility for their mistakes.
It is much more common than you think.
No decision is perpetual, almost all can be reversed and taking responsibility will make you grow as a person.
3-Get rid of perfection and accept mistakes
"There is no decision we can make that does not come with some kind of balance or sacrifice."Simon Sinek.
The fear of failure , To make mistakes, to make mistakes or to appear foolish to others can be immobilizing.
On the other hand, mistakes or failures are not definitive, they are simply results with which you learn.
The real error is one that is not learned and the only failure is not to try it anymore.
In addition, we usually believe that by choosing something, we have much to lose. However, in many cases it is not. What's more, there's probably more to winning.
In very few vital times you will have to choose something that you can not correct.
If you choose a bad job, you can go; If you buy a bad car, you can return it; If you do not like a dress you can give it back; If you do not hit, you'll have more chances to get it right.
A life of mistakes is far better than one of Procrastination .
4-Trust your intuition
- A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers. - Plato.
-The really successful decision-making lies in a balance between deliberate and intuitive thinking.-Malcolm Gladwell.
The expert Malcolm Gladwell Says in his book Blink that not trusting intuition can result in negative consequences.
In fact, intuition is scientifically based and is a source of knowledge that comes from experience.
In Think fast, think slowly , Kahneman states that one can rely on intuition when we find ourselves in situations that we have experienced other times and that are similar.
For example, some firefighters know when the ground is going to collapse because they have often experienced the situation of a collapse. They have unconsciously learned which signals indicate that the ground will fall and their intuition picks up those signals in similar situations.
5-Do not decide will never save you from the election
"Not deciding is deciding.""Harvey Cox.
If you do not decide, others will do it for you, or your life will be guided by fear.
In any case, you will go the way of an election, either taken by you or someone else. You're always going to have to be making choices.
Not being able to choose would not have freedom.
Therefore, choose the options you want, more thoughtful the more important they are, and without fear of making mistakes.
Do not forget: indecisions become decisions over time.
6-Think of yourself and do not worry about what others will think
"A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the opinion of the public."- Grantland Rice.
You will often have a clear decision but you will be thinking about how others will react.
If the decision does not hurt anyone and is the one you want to take, you do not have to worry about the opinions of others.
7-Adopt the philosophy of constant learning
- Good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions.
If you think about it, making mistakes is a way to learn.
Therefore, making decisions, while making mistakes with them, will lead you to learn what decisions are right.
8-Prioritizes
Do you really know what you want? If you have priorities, it will cost you much less to choose.
If, for example, you have a family priority, you will choose to be with her in 5 seconds instead of going to a work party.
Priorities will depend on Your values . To be aware of them, reflect on what makes you happy and what will make you happy in the future.
9-Build Your Self-Esteem
You may be thinking about joining tennis lessons and it costs you to make the decision.
You may think that you do not have the ability to practice that sport, even if you really have it.
Having a high self-esteem It will help you a lot to make decisions.
10-There is more repentance for inaction than for action
-The risk of an incorrect decision is preferable to the terror of indecision.-Maimonides.
Often, people feel more repentant for what they did not do (actions that could have led to positive results) than for what they did.
It seems a natural tendency to repent for not having performed actions that could have benefited us in one way or another.
11-Do not be impulsive
"You never cut a tree in the winter." Never make a negative decision at low times. Never make your most important decisions when you are in a bad mood. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. Spring will come.-Robert H. Schuller.
An unethical decision can cause someone to get hurt and lead you to repentance or remorse.
As I said before, in everyday situations that do not have important consequences, you can choose quickly, but in important situations it is better to think about consequences, pros and cons.
12-Fight for your decision to be the right one
"Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right."Phil McGraw.
For example, in the subject of entrepreneurship and opening of new businesses, it does not matter so much the idea, but to implement it well, to work and to develop a project well.
Therefore, it would not depend so much on whether or not a business idea was chosen well, but whether it has worked well in the process of putting it into action.
With the decisions of daily life is the same. Sometimes you can make a decision, but if you do not have the necessary attitude, it will lead you to error or not achieve your goals.
If you need inspiration you can use some of These sentences about decisions .
And what do you think? Why do you think it costs people to be more determined? Are you decided?