Learn to solve problems of the life, Partner , Personal, work or family is essential, since life usually goes through stages without problems and stages with problems.
The Emotional maturity Is to understand that problems come and go and that the best way to deal with them is to accept them and find solutions, without wasting time complaining.
When a problem arises, you can take three ways to solve them:
- Impulsive : You take the easiest option and you can perform in the short term. It will bring you negative results because you do not think about other options that could be better, or the consequences of each option
- Evitative: you do not face the problem and avoid it. This form will also bring you negative consequences as the problem will not be solved by itself
- Rational: you try to define the problem, you do not complain, you focus on the solution, generate action alternatives and take one to finally solve the problem. This is the form that you should learn, is the most adaptive and the best results will give you.
When a problem arises you, you will usually have a negative feeling; Feeling sad or worried
However, it begins to be maladaptive when you start to go around days, months and even years and do not take solutions Or decisions .
The approach that will help you to solve problems
The most correct, constructive approach that will give you infinitely better results for your life is the opposite of focusing on the problem; Focus on solving the problem.
If you get a problem every time you adopt this approach, you will solve them more quickly and effectively, and you will have better results.
What many people do is:
1) THE PROBLEM AROUND -> 2) CONCERNED, 3) COMPLAINTS, 4) THINK ABOUT THE PROBLEM AND ITS NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
The most adaptive to have a better quality of life is:
1) THE PROBLEM COMES-> 2) THINK ABOUT SOLUTIONS AND ACTING
Things to remember to better solve problems
There are several aspects of solving problems that you should know:
-The problems are common and you will find them throughout life
You will spend times with more and others with less, although it will always be your responsibility to choose:
- Complain and let the problem be solved only or someone comes to solve it for you
- Or solve them, putting the focus of attention on the solution
In solving a problem, self-efficacy will be very important (belief that you can solve the problem and that your actions will lead you to the desired state or solution, the self esteem and the self-confidence .
-You can not solve all problems alone and there will be people who will help you in some cases.
-Difference to the urgent problems in which you have to take a solution soon those you can leave for a little later.
- Challenge: if you have The belief That the problem is a challenge, you will be more motivated to find a solution, you will take action and solve it sooner.
-Don't act impulsively. Some problems have taken some time to resolve.
Troubleshooting Technique (4 steps)
With the problem solving technique ( D'Zurilla and Nezu ) You will learn to:
- Solve personal, couple, work and general problems.
- Take decisions : People today have so many options that it is problematic and causes stress. You can choose hundreds of careers, courses, where to live, which floor to choose...
- Treat psychological problems: in the world of professional psychology is also a technique used to Fight anxiety , Depression, obesity, stress...
Here are the 4 steps:
1-Identify the problem
It is essential that you define the problem in precise terms if you want to take the best option to solve it and take solutions that suit it.
If a doctor knows what specific illness your patient has, you can give him the medicine that cures it, even if you do not know what disease it is, you will have thousands of medicines to choose from. It is the same with the problem and its solution.
- Start by asking yourself. For example, in the case of someone who is unhappy to go to work daily:
- What is what I do not like my job ? Where? When? In what moments of my work do I feel well? What things do I like about my job? What are my thoughts in those moments? How can I feel better?
- You should come up with clear statements like,"I do not like my job when my boss tells me Speak aggressively ".
- Obtain problem information, based on facts and specifically described
- Clarify it so that it is an objective problem as you may have irrational ideas that do not correspond to reality. Someone may think it is a problem to be overweight or that your partner does not pay attention and that does not correspond to reality.
- What is the most important thing to solve? If for example you consider that you have problems speaking in public. Is it the tone of voice? Do you get nervous and do not know what to say? You have negative thoughts ? What favors the appearance of the problem?
2-Look for solutions
When looking for solutions, follow these principles:
- Act differently: if you try to solve the problem in the same way and observe that it does not give results, it is best to change and try other ways to solve it.
- Get rid of the conventional: a problem can be solved in many ways and the best does not have to be the one you have learned by tradition.
- Brainstorming : Launches any ideas that come to mind. Think of all the options that come to mind and do not evaluate them. If you do, it will be a pretext to abandon or avoid the problem. Here it is important to show yourself strong and not let yourself be influenced in case someone tells us phrases such as"that will not work".
- Ask for help: if after a reasonable amount of time you do not get any alternatives, you can ask for help from someone nearby or A professional .
If you have generated few alternatives, take your time and you can:
- Observe what actions people have taken in situations similar to yours.
- Combine new alternatives and create a new one.
- Each alternative can be divided into specific behaviors.
What have you done in similar situations?
3-Decision Making
Once you have all the solutions that have occurred to you, you will evaluate them and you will make a decision, choosing the most viable and the one that benefits you the most.
To know which option to choose from all the alternatives you have generated, you can set the following criteria:
- The alternative that most solves the problem
- The alternative that less effort and less time requires
- The best Emotional well-being I provoke you and others.
Also keep in mind that you do not have to limit yourself to a simple solution and you can choose two or a combination of two or three.
4-Action and results
This step is the realization of the concrete action and it is advisable to take into account the following points:
- In some cases, you have chosen an alternative in which you will need to train yourself. If for example your problem is that the job does not make you happy and you have taken the Start a business But you have no experience and you do not know how, you must train before taking action. You can also take action and learn on your own, although the latter option is not applicable in all cases.
- Observe while doing the action, this will help you to correct what you think can be improved and make it different in the future.
- Evaluation: When the action that leads to the solution of the problem is finished, you must evaluate the results yourself. If you think you have made a mistake, you must determine what it is and correct it with another action. If you have done everything well, it is advisable to give yourself a prize (or self-support) to consolidate that form of behavior.
- The prize or self-support is fundamental for you to establish that way of taking solutions as permanent in your behavior. You can do it with flattery to yourself (eg"I've done it well, I've done it well, I'm proud of myself") or with outside rewards such as a good dinner or a movie outing.
And what techniques or strategies do you use to solve problems? I am interested in your opinion. Thanks!