If you had to meet new people With the goal of making new friends, how would you do it? How would you approach them? And what strategies Would you use to maintain that relationship over time?
Maybe through these questions you have realized that you are untrained, that you lack skills to meet people, and even, practice at the time of Establishing new relationships and, above all, maintaining them.
Or you may have realized that you have never had such skills, that is, you have never been able to make friends or keep them.
Regardless of what your case is, do not worry, throughout this article I will provide strategies for you to make new friends.
Most of the friendships are achieved in childhood, adolescence and the beginning of the adult stage, mainly in the school, in the institute, in the Neighborhood and university, but you can also find friends in other areas such as work.
There are many reasons why a person may want to expand their social circle, such as:
Do not have friends, just known.
Let him feel alone and want to change his situation.
That he is not satisfied with his social life and wants to improve it.
That he has lost his friends for a discussion or for any other reason.
That with the passage of time he has distanced himself from his friends.
Let your friends have paired and just make plans for couples.
That he has been separated or divorced and as a result he has lost contact with the friends that the couple had in common.
Want to expand the circle of friends by incorporating new friendships.
I want to meet new people who contribute something different.
Have specific hobbies and want to meet people who share them.
That he has moved from neighborhood, city or country and no longer sees them so often.
Let it be Erasmus and do not know anyone there.
Etc.
As you can see there are many and varied reasons that can lead a person to want to expand their social circle.
And you? Do you identify with any of the reasons given?
It should be noted that people are beings that tend to socialize by nature, but that this condition can be seen modified by different Factors.
One of these factors is the fact that we have gone from living in small towns and municipalities where everyone knew each other and helped each other, Live in big cities and towns where we do not even know our neighbors.
We have changed a calm, restful pace of life, where there was a strong sense of community and help, a frenetic pace of life and a style Of individualized life where the other is a simple unknown about which we are not interested.
All this has impacted on social relationships, causing many people to feel alone despite living surrounded by people, and is that loneliness Is the disease of the 21st century.
When you are a child, teenager or young person it is easy to create new friendships, but as you grow older it becomes a more difficult task.
Over time people become more reluctant to develop new social relationships with other people because they already have their friends from all over the world. lifetime.
But what about all those people who do not have friends and are adults?
10 Tips for meeting new people
First, I'll explain 5 ways you can increase your chances of socializing and talking to new people by 100. There are many ways to get new friends, such as:
1. Internet
I'm sure you use the internet every day, like the majority of the population, whether to work, to entertain, to buy... And from now on you can also use it to meet new people.
On the internet there is a great variety of web pages where you can meet many very interesting people.
I am not referring to the pages of linking that are both advertised in the media, but to other types of pages that aim to organize Leisure plans for unknown people to know each other.
In this way, you can go to the movies, the theater, museums, field trips or any other type of activity with people looking for the same thing You: new friends.
Internet is a very useful tool to contact and meet people with the same interests or who are in your same situation. Cheer up!
2. Collective activities
Perform some type of group activity or collective class, such as going to the gym, to dance classes, to a course Cooking or join a hiking group, is a good opportunity to meet new people and create friendships.
It will be easier for you to interact with other people, and you will feel more comfortable, if you carry out an activity that really interests you, so if you have always Wanted to carry out some kind of activities but you still have not done it, now is the time!
Once you meet your classmates, you can propose to take something at the end of the class, organize some group activity related to your Interests, a Christmas dinner or an invisible friend. Any excuse is good for relationship.
3. Volunteering
Most likely, for your area there are several organizations that carry out some kind of volunteerism with which you can Collaborate, whether in a food bank, a neighborhood association or a similar activity.
It is also possible that your district organizes group activities for which they need volunteers, such as the Organization of the neighborhood festivals, exhibitions in the cultural center, beneficial events...
Find out about all the possible ways to volunteer and get involved, it's a good way to meet new people while doing a Social action favorable to your community.
4. Pets
Having a pet, such as a dog, can help you a lot when it comes to generating new friends.
Taking your dog around the area or park where your neighbors do, will make it easier to establish conversation with them, and share with the advantage of That you already have a theme in common: your pets.
Take advantage of this topic to start a conversation: what is your dog's name, how old is it, what breed is it, where did you adopt it...
There will come a time when, if you take your pet every day at the same time and in the same area, you are always with the same people with the Which you have the possibility of forming a friendship.
5. Friends of your friends
Surely your friends, acquaintances or family invite you from time to time to dinners, parties and outings with other groups of people you do not know, with The friends of your friends
These kinds of opportunities are perfect to fulfill your goal of relating to new people. Do not let them pass by as shame as you can Having, the laziness that you leave or for any other type of similar excuse. Come to the event, relate and enjoy.
After explaining the activities you can do to socialize more, I will explain how you can act to strengthen relationships and make friends.
How can you make new friends?
There is an essential factor when it comes to making new friends: attitude.
The attitude is decisive when it comes to relating to others, regardless of the situation you are in, so if you want to have Success in forming new friendships you must have a Cheerful, positive attitude And open.
Through this attitude you transmit to the other that you are a sociable, predisposed, natural person and that you trust in yourself and in your abilities.
And, as you can deduce, when it comes to relating this attitude is more favorable than if you show withdrawn, shy, shameful or nervous.
So you put aside the shame, the shyness and the fear of being rejected, and trust in you and your abilities, because it is the only way get your goals .
Apart from the attitude you have, there are other factors that will help you meet new people. These factors are:
5. Choosing the Right Place and Time
When starting a conversation with a stranger you must be able to choose the right place and time to do it.
When it comes to starting a conversation, it is very important that the two people have some time to talk, in this way, the possibilities of Develop a friendship increase.
6. The presentation
This step may seem very basic and irrelevant, but it is very necessary in a first contact.
On many occasions you may approach a stranger by asking him directly about a subject, without having made a previous presentation, which Can cause the person to consider you someone rude and intrusive.
To avoid such misunderstandings, which tend to hinder the subsequent conversation, it is best if you present yourself politely saying your Name and asking the other for his.
This first approach is a facilitating step to continue talking about where you are, the activity that you are going to carry out...
3. Start a conversation
After the presentation, it is necessary to start a conversation, avoiding to remain silent after knowing the name of the other person.
To make this step easier, you can start by asking the other about what you have in common, that is, about the situation in which You find, on the activity that you are going to realize, on the acquaintances that you have in common...
For example, if you are doing some kind of volunteering you can ask the other person how long you have been collaborating, how you Organization, if you have collaborated in another type of volunteering sometime, if you live in the area...
When it comes to dialogue, it is very important that the questions you ask are not closed, that is, that the person does not have to answer yes or no, Be open so that the other has to give a more elaborate response that will lead to continue the conversation.
4. Maintaining the conversation
It may be that your difficulty is not in initiating a conversation or in asking the other for what unites you, but in maintaining that dialogue in time.
For that first contact to continue, you must listen carefully and show interest in what the other person is telling you to sit down Listen and comfortable talking to you.
In fact, at first it is preferable that you listen more than you speak. Listening to the other person you will find information on which to deepen, new topics to talk about, things you have in common, things that you Separate
If at any point you get blocked or do not know how to continue the conversation:
Go deeper into some subject that you have previously spoken superficially.
Give your opinion about something that you talked about a while ago, generating a new dialogue.
Or bring out a new topic of conversation. The more related you are to what unites you, the easier it is for the person to talk.
5. End the conversation
If you see that the conversation you are having with the other person is going to end, either because the class you attended has ended, the meeting Social in which you are or because someone has to leave, say goodbye.
Try not to leave a place without saying goodbye to the people you've been talking to, since the farewell is just as important as the presentation initial.
If you want to see that person again, I recommend that when you say goodbye, ask him if he will come back next week to class or if he can give you the number Phone or your name to look for it in a social network and to stay again.
There is a chance that the person will tell you no, since not everyone is willing to make new friends.
Do not worry, do not be ashamed or afraid of rejection and try it. In case the person tells you no, keep trying to meet new people in Other environments, places, meetings... do not give up!
And what do you suggest to meet new people and friends?
References
- Asher, S. R. Gottman, J.M. (1981). The Development of Children's Friendships. Cambridge University Press: New York.
- Gabor, D. (2011). How To Start A Conversation And Make Friends . Simon & Schuster: New York.
- Rubin, K. H. Bukowski, W. M. Laursen, B. (2011). Handbook of Peer Interactions, Relationships, and Groups. The Guilford Press: New York.