To learn How to make personal decisions Important it is important to follow the path that best results you in your life. In this article I will explain how to do it with several examples. From now on you will start to overcome your moments of indecision And be more decisive.
Have you ever stopped to think about the influence that certain decisions have had on your life?
In fact, be aware of it or not, whatever you do, every day you enter a process of decision making.
There may be times when you have to choose one option or another and not go back. However, such cases are exceptions and in the vast majority of cases can be corrected and back.
It is true that some decisions have more importance than others, however, the results, what is happening in your life does not depend on a single choice, but on many .
Examples of personal decision-making
The case of Paco
Paco is a young man who decides to enter a good university to study engineering.
He likes the subjects and they get along well, although he has other concerns. You have ideas that you would like to carry out.
He is an enterprising boy who thinks he knows how to build a good business.
It opens its company being already in the university and later decides to leave it without finishing its studies.
He moves to another city and begins to take dozens of business decisions that year after year will lead him to be the richest man on the planet.
You may notice that this story closely resembles that of a very influential person. You only have to change Paco for Bill Gates.
What led Gates to create Micrososft was not only to leave Harvard University, there were many decisions: learning programming, leaving university, owning the rights to its main products, buying a product (MS-DOS) and then selling it, not Sell hardware (machines), software (ms-two, windows)...
The case of Manuel
Manuel is a married man who is doing very well; Has a good job, 2 children and a wife.
There is a month when he has a bad time, feels stressed and has argued with his wife.
He thinks he needs to take a break and accepts the invitation of his old friends-singles-to go on a trip to a foreign country.
On this trip, it sticks several parties, drinks a lot and say that it takes certain prohibited substances.
Drunk and drugged, he gets into a fight where he bleeds a local person.
The police go to the scene of the altercation. He is arrested and in the trial 10 years in jail, he carried several grams of drug in his pocket.
Is it a single decision that Manuel takes? No. Take several: do not try to solve the problem with your wife, go on a trip, drink, get high, do not avoid fights?
In short, what happens in life does not depend on a single decision, there are many that guide some results or others. Depending on what decisions you are taking, you will encounter one situation or another.
It is similar to the well-known"Butterfly Effect". In the film with the same name they show very well the effects that have the decisions that the protagonist is taking. Depending on the ones you take, you come to different situations and results in your life in the long run.
The blind decisions
I call"blind decisions"that we take and we do not realize that we are taking it because we believe it is normal. It is what we see that the rest of the people do and therefore we do not question it.
Examples:
- Watch TV instead of reading a book.
- Drink alcohol In social situations.
- Dress in a certain way.
- Buy a latest smartphone model"because you need it".
- Borrow with a car that can not be paid.
- Go to high school, college, find work, get married.
What difference will there be in 5-10 years between a person who decides to read instead of watching TV? How healthy will a person who drinks 1-2 beers be when compared to the one who drinks 4-7 cubas? How much of a job will you find someone who is in debt to pay for a car that you could not afford?
The importance of beliefs
Depending on the Beliefs That you have, you will tend to make some decisions or others.
Those beliefs depend on your culture, your family and yourself. Being born in favorable environments is positive, but being born in a certain place does not limit you, less today with globalization.
Examples:
- Believing that it is dangerous to leave abroad: a person with this belief would tend to stay in your country and you would lose thousands of experiences.
- Believe that the failure Is bad: this person would never try anything new, would always go to safety and, therefore, would have little chance of achieving something difficult.
- Believing that you have to follow the majority: probably would not achieve anything difficult, would tend to follow what others do.
- Believing that achievement depends on luck: you probably would not try anything, since you would believe that the achievements come suddenly, without looking for them.
Therefore, your beliefs will largely determine the decisions you are going to make for a long time. And not only will be one, many will determine your situation.
How to make good decisions?
1-Think about what you want What is your goal?
You are going to make very bad decisions if you do not know what you want, ie what is your goal . And in fact, it is impossible for you to know what decisions to make if you do not know where you want to go.
I will ask:
- What goals do you want to achieve.
- What do you want to change?
- How you want to feel.
Reflecting is good because it allows you to think about your situation, what determines that situation, what aspects of it you want to change and where you want to go or what you want to have.
2-Think about the consequences
Sometimes it is necessary to take one path or another in life.
For example, I had to decide whether to stay in Chile to work or to return to Spain. Finally I returned to Spain, that decision took me back and hundreds of decisions have led me to my situation today.
At the time I thought about the consequences of staying in Chile and I did not do it.
One technique I learned in a coaching process is this. It is useful when you have to decide whether to choose one option or another:
In the middle of a leaf, draw a picture of yourself if you had made an election. How would you be and how would you find yourself? For example, have chosen a job in your country.
In the other half, draw how you would be if you had taken the other choice. For example, having gone abroad to work.
What situation do you like the most? With what would you feel happy?
3-Increase the cake
In negotiation it is called"raising the pie"to increase the number of things that enter to form part of a negotiation.
For example, instead of negotiating only the sale of a house for money, one could negotiate the sale of the house plus an annexed land for money. In this case, the annexed land is"rising cake"and would be offering more than just the house. Normally, in negotiation this"increase of the pie"are made up of objects or services that do not amount to mere losses for the one who offers them.
That"cake boost"can be objects or services and in the case of decisions would be to expand the number of options you have.
Why would you go crazy in having to decide between a boy or another when there are so many people to know?
The same with any decision you can make; Do not limit yourself
4-Eliminate options and choose the best alternative
Now that you know what you want or what your goal is, you can eliminate the options that prevent you from reaching them.
- If you want to lose weight, it is clear that the choice to go to a free bufett is eliminated.
- If you want to study a university career, all other options - working, studying a minor formation - are eliminated.
- If you want to study a health career, all the others are left out.
- If your goal is to be a great professional in the engineering sector, books or courses that will help you learn more, will be limited to that range.
On the other hand, the decisions you make will also be based on the rules you have.
You can have the rule of not spending more than X dollars / euros on shoes or to accept up to a certain degree of quality.
The best alternatives will be the ones that fit your goal (step 1) and will be the ones you will have to choose.
5-Make decisions in the same direction
You can not know what particular situation is going to lead to a decision, but making many decisions in the same direction will greatly increase the chances that you will get the result you want.
For example, making constant decisions in the direction of"grow as a professional"will lead you to decide to take courses, read books, get together with good professionals in your sector, go to conferences...
Examples:
-You want to lose weight and you decide to eliminate the foods with much fat of your diet. You have also decided to exercise and not drink alcohol when you go out. Also, you are reading books that teach you which foods are the healthiest.
"Trying to pass a test once may not be enough, not even two." You may have to decide to introduce yourself 10 times before approving. Those 10 times you have decided to present you will have determined your final situation; To have passed the exam.
-You open a business and a year goes bad, but you decide to persevere. A year and a half you have improved very little but you remain determined. At 2 years you have improved something more, very little and you make decisions that lead to improve your business. Finally, your business grows and gives you to live well.
6-Decide for yourself
This should not be overlooked, and the truth is that it is often overlooked.
Your situation and what you want is totally different from what others want. However, you can be influenced by other people. If you do not do it already, it is necessary Learn to value yourself.
For example:
- Your goal may be to pass a test that will give you access to a job. Your friends encourage you to go out every weekend, even several days a week. In that case, if you give in, you would be influenced by others - who have other goals - and you would not be influenced by your goals.
- You may want to lose weight and your friends want to go to a free bufett. You sign up and you do not follow the diet. In that case you would also have been influenced by others and not by your goals.
What has value for you?
You can take into account other people's opinions, although decisions have to be made based on what you want.
7-Difference between hard decisions and determinants
Hard decisions are those that are hard to take because you have to choose between two very similar options and in a short time. However, the result will be very similar, will not determine just anything, one option or another will not determine large differences in results.
For example, you'll be thinking about buying an opel or a sling. However, is it going to make a big difference in your life? Almost certainly not.
A decisive decision if it is important and, worth the redundancy,"determinant"because it will mean that you have totally different results if you take it or not.
For example, accepting a job in a foreign country will determine that you have to make new friends, that you have to adapt, to follow a totally different life, to probably meet someone outside and build a family.
In determining decisions you will need to spend more time, reflect on your goals, consequences and eliminate options. In short, you will have to do the process more slowly and conscientiously.
And what do you think? Do you think there are many decisions that lead us to be where we are or that are individual decisions that determine who we are?