In society it is often said that it is important To have personality Or character, that one people has more than another and other sayings. However, there is something that they pass through lack of knowledge; In fact everyone has personality.
It may be more introverted, more extroverted, less hesitant or more determined, but everyone has one. You can not"have no personality", in reality that is badly said. What you can do is be decisive or confident.
In this sense, if you want to"have personality", you want to say that you want to improve your social skills, improve your leadership, improve your decision making, Improve your self-esteem Or do not let yourself be influenced by others.
Other features that are also usually included are courage, the ability to struggle, to take risks, sacrifice and perseverance. All of them can be worked and we all have some more developed than others.
Before beginning with the 10 habits that I believe you are looking for to develop traits that are considered most attractive, I ask you to keep in mind the following: everyone will agree on one thing and disagree on others. That is, be as you are there will always be people who criticize you, so do not seek to change for others.
To avoid being criticized; Do not do anything, do not say anything, do not be anything.-Aristotle.
It seeks to change for you, to improve your quality of life and acquire ways of behaving and thinking that you Let's reach your goals .
1-If decided
In fact, many of the characteristics that people want in this society are those of the charismatic leader. They are people that we say"has personality"(although you should know that we all have it).
One of those personality traits is being decided, that is, making decisions without taking too much time or making excuses. Of course, when a decision is important, you need to take your time and see pros and cons.
However, those determined people act in situations that others consider risky and that in fact are not. Therefore, if you act decisively in these situations, you will get the greatest benefits and the only risk will be to be criticized, which you can only avoid if you do nothing (and there will probably be people who also criticize you for not having acted).
Examples: you volunteer in class, you are participative in your work team, you decide to go abroad, you go out dancing with who you like.
2-Example
Setting an example is another of the typical behaviors of charismatic leaders and in general of all kinds of leaders.
It is about acting or doing things that others do not dare to do or should do. And something very important is to do them because you want and because you feel like it, not because you want others to think well of you, because otherwise, you will do it without desire and it will not do anything.
Examples: you go to an NGO, help someone who has fallen, volunteer to help your boss / teacher...
3-Identify and overcome your fears
So much to be decided as to set an example, you will have anxiety or fear. It is normal, but it is necessary to overcome.
It is not that you try to eliminate fear, but that you perceive it and that you still act. I recommend reading this article About mindfulness.
It is about that at a given moment you identify that the anxiety / fear is preventing you to act. After that, force you to act, even if it is something unimportant.
Examples: public speaking is a fear that usually has many people, me too. To overcome this, I was forced to participate in class, workshops, courses and even company presentations. In a short time, go from making small entries to making presentations often.
4-Do not look for approval
The pursuit of approval is one of the worst habits you can have and that most people have.
It is difficult to always remember and sometimes we behave to please others, even people who do not even care. At the end of the day, we are social beings and we need others to live.
But, here is a very real paradox; When you stop trying to please is when you like. Only one condition has to be met; Do not disrespect.
You can live your way and do what you want, you do not have to follow others or do what others say, as long as you do not disrespect.
I even recommend that you propose not to fit, not to follow the herd. That if it is having character.
5-Se autonomous
One of the most attractive characteristics in a person is autonomy.
In fact it is related to the previous ones. If you are autonomous, it will cost less to make decisions alone, you will not want to please others and you will have more self-esteem, since you can identify and overcome the fears alone.
Being autonomous is not going to buy bread alone, is to learn to live happily yourself, learn to make decisions yourself and be able to solve your own problems.
6-Quiérete
If you do not love yourself, subcommunicate others and they will value you less.
It is therefore very important that you learn to love yourself. And this in turn will potentiate all the previous habits, since you will see with the right to make them.
Moreover, you will not wait for someone else to act, but you will tell yourself that you deserve better things and that you have the right to act and find them.
Learn first to love and value yourself, do not expect others to do it and paradoxically, you will begin to do so.
This article may interest you. .
7-Learn to see you in a positive way
Something that used to happen to me is that depending on the clothes I wear I felt one way or another. If I put on more"smart"or"cool"clothes I felt more valuable. It probably happened to you as well.
But in reality, and logically, clothing has no real power. It is only psychological and social. It's how you look at clothes that really matters. And why are we going to act with one clothing in one way and another in another? Is not it very superficial?
Something that I have clear is that how you see yourself is what will most influence how you act.
If you see yourself as a person of value, who can contribute to others, secure, determined, with future, etc., you will act in such a way.
If you look like a failure, insecure and indecisive you will act like this.
8-Take off
I have previously commented on the importance of acting decisively in situations of"apparent risk".
But acting at a much deeper level, which in reality if it involves some risk, is already something else.
In fact, everyone who comes in high or who is considered of value is often at risk.
A footballer risked his time because he decided to train hard instead of studying"and go for it". An influential businessman is not looking for a job that will give him security. A politician, like Nelson Mandela, who makes a big change risks spending years in prison.
But you do not have to act on these scales. You can also travel, undertake, realize your dreams...
9-Breaks with the conventions
Probably, only with this you will achieve to highlight, although, I repeat, do not do it for others.
For me, this is one of the most unpleasant and less attractive elements that can be had. That is, do what others do, follow others without thinking, accept rules that actually hurt us, do what others do even if you want to do something else.
I do not know who he is, although I recently heard a phrase that said"remember that Nazism was accepted in its time". It is an extreme example, although these are the best to understand.
Some examples are: drinking alcohol because"it's normal", dressing with a tie even if you do not like it, watch football because others see it, do not stick to painting classes because your friends do not...
10-Do things that others do not do
If you are looking for different results, do not always do the same.-Albert Einstein.
It is related to the above, although I would like to talk about it specifically because it is what it will cost you most if you really propose it.
An authentic demonstration of character and that you are not influenced by others is doing things that others do not. And not just raise your hand, go out and speak in public, help someone, etc.
Otherwise, living a life that is going to be strange to others is going to have very positive consequences in your life.
Of course, this does not mean that you are going to be the typical mad scientist (if you feel that way for me). You can have an attractive personality, be sociable, flirt and succeed doing things that others would never do and probably never do.
Examples: travel alone, have completely different schedules, eat different foods, join a strange course that catches your attention, do not work when others do, work when others do not...
And what do you do to have a more attractive personality?