Learn to be happy In life every day, with or without a partner and whether or not you have money, is one of the best decisions you can make in your life. Being happy with yourself, without depending on anyone is important, since the external circumstances always change irremediably.
Many people consider that searching the happiness Is the fundamental objective in life, although very few can describe it.
In general, we could say that happiness is a feeling of general satisfaction with our life, as well as the ability to enjoy everything What we have - material and spiritual.
Following Seligman , Author who has extensively studied the concept of happiness, we can find 3 types:
Hedonistic happiness : Refers to everything that brings you happiness in a momentary way, such as a nice dinner, an afternoon at a spa, a day of
Beach, etc.
For some, this is the only kind of happiness pursued, thinking that by getting it, they will become happy.
However, it is something ephemeral, whose consequences do not usually last in time.
If you want to have a more lasting happiness, you should combine this with the following types:
Happiness due to your abilities : Surely you have experienced a feeling of well-being and well-being when someone has congratulated you on your work. Being competent in a specific area, and putting this ability into practice, brings you a degree of happiness more stable and lasting than the previous.
For you to see it more clearly, some examples could be: to have a good command of the new technologies, to know several languages, to be good in the Sports, etc.
Happiness you get by giving meaning to your life : This type is the most complex. It is about the welfare produced in valuing the sacrifices That you realize in your day to day, with the aim to improve the one of the others.
You can get this Kind of happiness Contributing your help in social works, being an attentive parent, defending the rights of animals, between others.
10 steps and tips to be happy
1. Plan enjoyable activities in your free time
According to Seligman, as we have said before, there are many activities that bring you happiness immediately in your day to day.
Learn to value everything that makes you feel good, that gives you satisfaction, and performs these activities more frequently.
Surely, if you stop to think about it, you can think of infinite examples of pleasant activities:
A bike ride to work (instead of enduring the detestable jams), enjoy Reading a good book , Prepare your favorite food, perform Some sport (running, pilates, spinning, swimming, etc.).
As you see, there are numerous options you have in your day to day to increase your personal satisfaction.
Take advantage of all the opportunities you have during your free time, since if you spend sitting on the sofa in front of the television, your satisfaction and Happiness will be much less.
2. Make your activities a habit
If doing activities is important, making them a habit is even more so.
It is not enough that you make physical exercise Sporadically. In fact, this will not help increase your sense of well-being.
However, when performing some type of activity routinely, such as go for a run , Going to pilates or practicing yoga, will bring you numerous benefits Both physical and emotional.
Commit yourself to what truly brings you well-being, focusing your attention on the activity you are doing at that time, focusing on The here and now To fully enjoy it.
Therefore, it is not enough to go running, you have to pay attention to your surroundings, enjoy nature, feel like the clean air enters your Body, nice feeling after shower, etc.
3. Spend more time with friends and family
It has also been commented before that one of the factors that contributes most to the happiness perceived is to have satisfactory social relations.
If you do any of the activities mentioned in the previous point with friends or family, your satisfaction will be even greater.
Humans are social beings, so enjoying the company of others is a basic necessity.
Spend a little more time enjoying the company of others, especially the most important people in your life.
For example, if you are a parent, you might want to spend more time with your children in the park, read a bedtime story (instead of TV).
If you are a student, spend some time with your classmates after school, where you can talk about your concerns, interests, etc.
4. Accept what you can not change
Throughout life, you will always find obstacles, difficulties and unforeseen that can affect you negatively and escape your control.
The death of a loved one or that you leave your partner are examples of things that do not depend on you.
The only thing you can do about it is to carry out an adaptation process, so that you can go ahead and make your life as satisfying Possible, despite the circumstances surrounding you.
Face your emotions and learn to manage them In a positive way , As through writing, leaning on the people around you, etc.
Although this can not be achieved immediately, you have to learn to respond to adversity, accepting everything about what you do not have Control and focusing on what you can change.
5. Learn to know yourself
Having a greater self-knowledge of yourself, keeping in mind your abilities and defects, will help you to become a better version of yourself.
To do this, take time to reflect on your concerns, your fears, your personal goals .
Write from time to time about the things you would like to change about yourself and point to those with which you feel satisfied.
Do not feel weak by showing yourself as a sensitive person, but as a person with enough strength to accept yourself as it is.
6. Spend money on people around you
Another interesting study that analyzes the relationship between money and happiness shows that sometimes money does give happiness.
This occurs when, instead of spending the money on yourself - which is often used on unnecessary objects - you spend it on people around you.
Thus, by buying a gift to a friend, family member or your partner, you will achieve a state of well-being that will increase your level of perceived happiness.
Put this advice into practice by surprising one of the people closest to you, even if you do not have a specific reason - such as a birthday, anniversary, Christmas, etc. - and even if it is a detail that is not very expensive.
Check yourself how good you feel to make such a generous gesture.
7. Take the time to feel good
There is no number of hours of sleep that is suitable for all people, although generally are recommended around 7-8 hours per night.
Try to keep your sleep rhythm regular, avoiding sleeping or sleeping too much, since in both cases you will be less rested the next day, So you can not appreciate the small pleasures of everyday life.
Some Sleeping tips Best are: do not dine too late, do not eat heavy food and do not have distractors in the room -television, devices Electronic, etc.-.
8. Make goals in your life
This point is especially important if you want to be happier.
Surely there are many purposes you have in mind but you never find the time to carry it out.
Do not wait the next Monday or start a new year. Start today to fight for what you want to achieve.
Having something to fight for, will encourage you to get out of bed every day and you can sleep peacefully at night, thinking that you have approached a Little more to your dreams.
The big goals will take time to reach but they are really worthwhile and will contribute more to your sense of well-being Y happiness.
Set clear objectives, such as give up smoking , Learn to ski, start English classes, etc.
The important thing is that you set your own goals based on your personal interests.
If you propose to start a new activity to please a friend or your partner, the activity in question will not give you anything, so you will end up Abandoning it.
If it is a complicated goal, divide it in different steps, so you will have a better knowledge of the position you are in and you It will be easier to direct your behavior.
For example, if you want to improve your level of English, you should consider choosing a good academy, then attending classes to get a Certificate of basic English, then another intermediate and so on.
Marking an unreal objective will increase your frustration, you will feel overwhelmed and opt for abandoning your goal.
As you can see, these are small changes that, together, will help your happiness increase.
Those who say that happiness may be right are right Is found in the little things.
What does happiness depend on?
Some studies have estimated that happiness depends on 50% of our genetics, that is, the predisposition we have at birth to be people Who see life with optimism or pessimism.
Does this mean that we can do practically nothing to change our happiness? Absolutely. In fact, another large percentage - 40% - is up to you Same, everything that you do to pursue your happiness.
We therefore have 10% that these researchers attribute to the events around us.
So, although you often think that you are happy or sad about what has happened in your life, the circumstances are not the only cause of how you you feel.
Let's look at some examples that show that circumstances influence only momentarily in your happiness:
Imagine that you have the lottery and suddenly you win a lot of money.
The first months after this event, your happiness would be increased, since many of your daily problems would be solved.
However, soon you would begin to adjust to this new life, after which you will experience the same general satisfaction with your life as before Won the lottery.
In fact, it has been found that when workers receive a raise, they usually settle in a few months and get used to the new economy, So they do not feel happier than before that increase.
Obviously, having problems getting to the end of the month can put our level of risk at risk. wellness And tranquility.
What this study shows is that the salary we receive does not significantly influence our level of happiness, as long as it covers Our basic needs-allow you to pay monthly expenses, save, travel sometimes, etc.-.
Some companies, being aware of this, opt to reward employees by giving away family trips, since in this way, happiness Does seem to increase.
This is because interpersonal relationships are one of the most determining factors in our happiness.
Another example that shows that the situations that surround you have a low influence on your happiness is the ability to recover after events Negative results.
Surely something negative has happened to you, like losing a loved one or losing a job.
In both cases, it is inevitable to suffer and have a bad time in your life. However, to continue with your life, to recover and to continue chasing your Happiness depends on you
Here is a video summary:
And what other ways do you recommend to be happy? Count and other readers will thank you!
References
1. Contreras, F., & Esguerra, G. (2006). Positive psychology: a new perspective in psychology. Diversitas, 2 (2), 311-319.
2. Bolinches, A. (2011). Personal happiness: keys to an inner change.
3. García, M. (2002). From the concept of happiness to the approach of the variables involved in subjective well-being: a conceptual analysis. Magazine
Digital, 8 (48), 652-660.
4. Gómez Baya, DE. (2012). Review of Sonja Lyubomirsky's book, The Science of Happiness: A Proven Method for Welfare.