7 Keys to Dealing with Difficult People (Life and Work)

Surely you are dealing with difficult people at work, home or other part of your life and are literally making your existence bitter.

Sometimes it is easy for someone's behavior to affect us and have negative consequences at work and in general, in our state of mind. In this article I will teach you How to deal with difficult people in your life and work , Deal with the situation and be productive and happy again.

How to deal with difficult people at work

The situation will not improve on its own, in fact on many occasions it will get worse. Therefore, you must face the situation while you can maintain An emotional control .

Below you will get some keys to face the situation and you will learn techniques to solve the frequent situations:

1- Do not give importance to the p Non-influential people

Unless it is important to take action, do not worry about the behavior of someone who has no importance in your life and is not worth getting into arguments or fights.

Do not try to To convince someone Or change your negative behavior, since you will be wasting your time. If you can, keep a safe distance with the people who influence you negatively, in case you can not, if you have to take action.

The situations I am referring to are: 1) when the negative influence is temporary (for example someone who pisses you off because you have slow start up or a customer who complains about anything), 2) if you endure the other person's behavior you Gives benefits; For example someone who does not like your team but who is very intelligent and brings good ideas.

In examples like these you will have to reflect on whether the situation is worth confronting and if the behavior of the other person is bearable.

2 - Do not be reactive

If you are reactive, you will not handle the situation well and act impulsively doing things that you will probably regret. Think well what you will do or you will say before you do.

Breathe deeply or count to ten to relax , Control and think well what is the best way to act to get the results you want; Think of pros and cons. If you think you are out of control even if you have tried to relax or count to ten, go to a place alone until you control yourself.

3- Do not take it personally

If you feel hurt by someone's behavior or words, try to see the situation differently. For example, you may think that your boss does not care about you or is very busy. If you avoid taking personally the behavior of other people, you can perceive their behavior more objectively.

People do what they do for their welfare, not for us.

Another way of not personalizing is putting yourself in the skin of other people: What would you do in your situation? For example:"It is normal for my partner not to have time from Monday to Friday, it must be very tiring to work 8 hours a day."

If someone behaves rudely or violent, it is no excuse, what I want to explain is that avoiding you take it personally, will avoid escalating the discussion / conflict and will make you take more reasonable solutions.

4- Focus on the task, not the personal

There are two kinds of conflicts, the one of task (decisions of the work, how to make a project, what color to choose for a marketing campaign...) and the personnel (focuses on personal characteristics of the interlocutors).

It is verified that the task conflict in an average degree, is positive for the creativity , Innovation and for the quality of the work done.

However, personal conflict is always negative and bringing some professional problem from work to something personal will only lead to escalation in the conflict and increasingly will be more difficult to go back.

5- Communicate faith effectively

There are people who communicate in a violent way, not only verbally but with their nonverbal language ; Movement of the eyes, challenging looks, pointing with the finger, violent gestures, etc. Surely you have met people who misunderstand you, attack you, tell you some personal flaw, or are excessively negative, always focusing on what is wrong.

The purpose of communication of these people is control, rather than dealing with problems and solving them, making a collective decision. In these cases, do not keep up with the other person's game and ask questions to make them aware of the repercussions of what they ask:

Person with violent communication:"this is not going to work, I think you are directing it very badly"

Answer:"Can you provide a solution?

Person with violent communication:"do not be silly, bring it yourself".

Answer: If you continue to treat me disrespectfully, I will not continue working / talking to you, is that what you want?

Another technique for attacking comments is to respond with an unexpected and funny comment or change the subject:

Person with violent communication:"stop hindering, you are doing fatal".

Answer:"Good idea, so I can rest. You sign up"?

6- Use humor

Humor releases tension, disarms violent behavior and shows that you have greater social skills.

You: Hello, what's up?

Companion (do not realize it).

You: uff I imagine, you have to be well focused (in a tone of humor).

7- Face the abusers smartly

People who abuse psychologically at work, do it to people they perceive as weaker and more passive. Usually, when the victim defends himself, the maltrador at work begins to correct his bad behavior.

To confront these people, you must be sure to have social support behind them, to stand firm and not tolerate the maltratato because they will repeat it.

The first thing is to try solve the problem Just talking to the other person and using messages like"I do not work well if you treat me like that". Express yourself: to deal with another person's negative behavior, tell them that you are upset by using this structure: behavior, feelings, and needs. For example in the case of a partner who treats you poorly:

"When you treat me like this I feel bad, to work well I need to feel good. What causes you to behave like that?

Unfortunately, there will be people who simply are not interested in others and do not mind doing harm. If the other person continues to behave the same or there is physical, psychological or verbal abuse, consult your superior or Human Resources.

When you talk to your boss or HR, ask him for advice and tell him the problem indirectly so that he perceives that you want to solve the problem for yourself:"I'm having the problem that Manuel treats me badly and is rude to work. I do not want you to solve it, but I'd like you to give me some advice."

8- If nothing works, you can look for another job

Life does not end in your current job and if you have behaved correctly. Evaluate what the work brings you in terms of happiness, which brings you financially, if you have options to look for another. If the pros win, focus on solving the problem.

If you win the cons, focus on quitting your current job and looking for other solutions out of it.

What other tips would you give to deal with difficult people?


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