The death of a loved one is the most painful experience that a human being has to live. When a known person dies, be it a companion or neighborhood merchant, for example, we feel a lot of sadness.
In this article I explain you c How to overcome a duel For the death of a dear person; Father, mother, brothers, sons...
But when we have to face the death of a father, a brother or a couple, then the pain can become unbearable.
To think that there is some strategy that frees us of that pain, would be very naive and unreal on our part.
However, there are mechanisms, behaviors and activities that can help us move the duel in a more"harmonious"way.
Every human being lives death in a different way and reacts in a different way as well. Among other things we react and feel as we can, more than we want.
So the first thing is to take away the responsibility of having to respond in the same way or having to be well within a certain period of time.
Although there are no rules, a person who can not resume his daily activities after the year of death of that special being, is not being able to cope with the situation naturally.
In that case, psychological help becomes necessary, says the American Psychological Association.
7 tips to overcome a duel in a healthy way
Time begins to pass and that is inevitable. You must then try to allow that time to integrate and accept your pain as something really natural.
Everyone at some point in life will go through these experiences and if nature has determined that it is so, it is because we are able to live it.
1-Let your pain be free
Many times because your family or friends do not want to look bad or because society does not allow it, you feel that you must overcome your pain quickly.
But this is not possible, the pain of a death is very great and you should not hide it or deceive yourself thinking that you will overcome it right away. Your daily life will change and that is natural.
If you feel like crying do it. You do not have to hide your pain.
What you are feeling is normal and as such you have to live it. Do not let yourself be carried away by what other people think, you are the one who is processing a duel and you have to do it your way.
2-Accept the new situation
It's easy to say but not feel it. Also one day we will leave and there will be people crying for us.
Dying is part of the cycle of life, and little by little, over time, you can accept the death of your loved one as something natural.
Accepting that life has hard stages and happy stages will help you to better overcome this situation.
3-Do not close yourself to others
When the pain is very great, the world seems to revolve around that pain and you may think that you are the only one or the only one who is suffering.
While each member of the family suffers the death of a loved one from a different place, there is something in common: the pain of absence.
Try to open up and approach people who are also in the process of grieving, like you.
If you think it will do you good to talk about that person's death then do it. If you feel desire to see a belonging of that person and someone in your family has one, then take advantage of the occasion.
When the load is shared it becomes lighter.
Be patient with yourself. Often the worst enemy when overcoming a loss is ourselves.
As part of the non-acceptance of what has happened, we sometimes try to act as if nothing had happened.
We pretend that our whole routine is normally channeled right away, but this is simply not possible.
Another of the things that we must accept, besides the death of the loved one, is that that loss has changed our life.
It does not matter if feeling better takes 6, 8 or 12 months. The important thing is that you come to that moment in a healthy way, having gone through all the stages of the duel.
5-Do not make important decisions
After such a moving experience no person has the clarity of ideas enough to evaluate and make important decisions.
Sometimes it seems that everyday life and the world that does not stop spinning does not have time to wait for you, especially in economic matters.
The bills to pay arrive, the economic commitments are not made wait and do not understand of duels.
However, he thinks that precisely making an economic decision like selling a property or getting a debt requires a great analysis.
And you are not in a position to do it, not because you are not capable but because you are at a stage where your priority must be to return to a normal life.
6-Give certain opportunities
Maybe they've invited you to a party and you think it would not be timely given that you're in mourning.
Especially in other times, it was badly seen that a person attended an event if he had recently lost a loved one.
In fact, when women were widowed, they"should"wear black. Although the tradition continues today, it is not so frequent anymore.
Nothing is wrong that you use a nice color, those that convey joy. It is also not bad to attend a party where you can talk and distract yourself.
That will not make your pain or the memory of a person disappear. But it is beneficial that at least for a while, you can be distracted and have a pleasant time.
I do not want to say that you do it soon, but when you have a reasonable time, it is important that you begin to socialize again.
7-Do not self-medicate or self-analyze
If you feel that you need help, be it psychological or pharmacological, it is not for you to decide.
You should consult with a professional, and in case you are, you should consult someone else, someone who can assess your situation objectively. Medications and especially psychoactive drugs have contraindications.
Trying to"plug"the pain with an antidepressant can be a big mistake. Nevertheless the Depression Is one of the disorders that can be triggered by the loss of a loved one.
If so determined by the specialist, you may need to take antidepressants. But in any case that is something that you should not decide.
There are no magical or professional formulas that instantly take away the pain. The true power to get ahead after a death, is in ourselves.
We are really stronger than we believe and no one dies of sadness. It is possible to grow, enrich and learn from it. You can do it too!
Finally, I recommend you Read this article . It tries to overcome a breakup of partners, although in reality it is a duel (although the beloved person leaves, does not die).
The 5 stages of the duel
Although we are all different, there are natural behaviors and reactions that are very similar in humans.
When a loved one has died, a process begins, which according to scientific studies is composed of The following phases
1-Shock phase
It begins with the first moment in which we have heard the news.
Phrases like"I can not believe"or"this is not happening"are typical of this stage that hits us.
When the human being is in a state of shock, it can adopt different behaviors, from being completely paralyzed to fainting.
2-Phase of rebellion
Once the shock has passed and you begin to make contact with what has happened, a sense of rebellion and denial is likely to arise.
It's hard to accept that this painful and unfair thing is happening. Why me? Why in this moment of my life?, could be phrases proper of this stage.
Feelings of injustice, vulnerability and insecurity characterize this phase.
Certain health disorders may also occur, Like insomnia Or lack of appetite, among others.
3-Phase of disorganization
Everything seems to be going around and maybe you can not find meaning and order to things.
Every time you are more aware that that loved one is gone and it seems that everything is a chaos.
When you wake up or in the moments of inactivity you immediately think of the person who has passed away.
4-Reorganization phase
After feeling disoriented and not knowing very well what to do, comes the calm and the calm. Little by little you begin to accept that person is not and will not return.
You become aware that your life must continue and you begin to convince yourself that"there is no choice but to go forward". The up and recovery stage begins.
The time that lasts each phase is variable but in general arrived the year already should be beginning the fourth stage.
Here you will have resumed with normality your activities and that acute pain that you felt at the beginning will turn into sadness.
As time continues to elapse you will begin to remember with joy the moments shared with that person.
Remember: the pain Or sadness They may never disappear completely, but they will be transformed and you will feel that you can coexist with that loss in a natural way.