The Symptoms of falling in love The main ones are to constantly think about the other person, idealize it, emotional and physical instability, become obsessed, fantasize about plans, dedicate a lot of time to the other person and others that I will explain later.
Tell you before you start naming them that do not have to be fulfilled all, and that luckily people are very different, so that each can live in love in a different way.
The symptoms presented in this article should be understood in general, and without the premise of thinking that if they do not appear or the infatuation is not lived as described here is not really in love.
In fact, the concept of couple can have diverse connotations according to the culture; So the article is posed so that the symptoms or signs that appear should be taken as something that normally happens, but without forgetting that there can always be exceptions.
When we fall in love our body experiences a series of physical and psychic changes that make us be different from when we have no partner or are not looking for it.
Normally the feeling that is experienced when you are in love, is classified as pleasant, although usually the infatuation is also associated with the feeling of madness. Understanding madness as an altered non-daily state at the psychic level and not with a negative connotation.
And it is that humans are social beings and we like to be in the company of other people. Each interpersonal relationship we develop will be based on behaviors appropriate to the roles we play, either as part of the family, in a group of friends or with our partner.
In the case of romantic love, or infatuation, we could consider it as a kind of drug for the brain and the organism. It is a feeling that causes well-being, and although it alters us in our daily life, we likewise like it.
In fact, when people are shown falling in love with photos of their loved ones, the same regions are activated in the brain as when a drug addict consumes a dose of substance to which he is addicted.
11 symptoms that may indicate that you are in love
Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and an expert on the biology of love, has determined that during the phase of infatuation experienced by humans, brain Goes through a process that is considered unique, since you do not experience those changes at other times in life.
The infatuation is considered as an intense stage, which removes from the state of normality the person and with a delimited time. You can not be in love forever.
According to Fisher there are 11 signs that indicate that we are in love with that special person.
1- The person we fall in love with is unique and special
When we fall in love, we have the idea that the person for whom we feel"butterflies"in the stomach is unique. We think that in the world there is no one better than him or her.
In addition this belief is accompanied by the inability to apply the same reasoning to another person and even if we wanted we can not feel the romantic passion for two people at a time.
This feeling of thinking of the other as someone unique in the world and believing that there is no one more special has to do, according to Fisher, with the high levels of dopamine at the brain level that are experienced in this process.
2- It idealizes the person and we think it is perfect
When we fall in love with someone it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to find something that displeases us. And even if we find in that person some defect, we will not live it as unpleasant, but we can even give it a positive connotation.
This is commonly referred to as idealization, or in a more colloquial way like"putting someone on a pedestal".
When we fall in love, our brain pays most attention to those qualities we consider positive in the other. In addition we also focus on objects or events that are not important but are related to the person we fell in love with.
This idealization is also related to the Dopamine , Although in this case also comes into play Norepinephrine , Which has to do with the increase of memory to store new stimuli and memories.
3- People who fall in love go through a period of emotional and physical instability
Falling in love, as I told you at the beginning of the article, normally leads to a Emotional instability And physiological.
When we fall in love the changes we can experience are:
- Intense feeling of joy and happiness.
- Increased energy.
- Feeling of euphoria and being capable of everything.
- Loss of normal biological rhythm of sleep and even insomnia.
- Loss of appetite.
- Generalized tremor.
- Incrise of cardiac frecuency.
- Hyperventilation or high-rate breathing.
- Anxiety and despair at the slightest problem in relation to the relationship.
This is just some of the changes that can be experienced, if read objectively it may seem that instead of being in love, you suffer from some illness.
But it is normal to experience these symptoms; And we do not have to worry because we know that the basis of this organic instability is love.
4- The obstacles unite the relationship more
If we are fortunate to be reciprocated and have initiated a relationship with that special person, the fact of overcoming some obstacle or barrier to be together will tighten your ties even more.
This happens because trying to overcome a problem together intensifies the attraction we feel for the other. As in previous symptoms, dopamine is responsible for this.
Researchers who were part of Fisher's study attribute the relationship between the narrowing of loops and dopamine that when a given reward (in this case would be able to enjoy a relationship with the loved one) does not come momentarily, neurons Which are responsible for the production of dopamine become more productive, so the dopamine level that is generated is higher.
5- The infatuation brushes the obsession
It is estimated that people who are in love, spend on average more than 85% of the hours of the day thinking about the person they love. And the funny thing is that they do not think of it consciously, but the brain itself elaborates Intrusive thoughts , Which appear suddenly and without being evoked.
Intrusive thoughts form part of the basis of a particular obsession. It is something like not being able to take a certain idea or image of the head even if you want. It may be comparable to when we are"stuck"a song and we sing it endlessly without even realizing it.
The biological reason for the obsession in falling in love seems to be related to a decrease in the level of Serotonin in the brain. In fact, people diagnosed with Obsessive compulsive disorder , At the organic level suffer the same decrease of serotonin and also have intrusive cut-off thoughts during the day.
6- During the infatuation we only want to be with that person
One of the signs that can appear during the phase of falling in love is not wanting to separate a moment from the loved one. All that activity is done has the desire to do it together.
This implies something that can become harmful, since it can mean the beginning of a emotional dependence ; Which is never healthy.
In addition emotional dependence may also include possession, jealousy , Fear of being rejected And anxiety about separation.
Although the desire to be together all the time imply a natural signal in the phase of falling in love, it is good to try to control it a little and continue doing activities that you like and individually.
7- You fantasize about future plans together
When you are in love, it is expected that the relationship as well as the state of falling in love, will be for a lifetime. It is all so idealized and so beautiful that it is normal to feel that you want the feeling to be eternal.
It is logical to think that what makes us feel good, we always want to have it close.
In addition, the fact of wanting to build a future together is bound to want to grow also at the individual level but at the hand of that person.
8- The person in love feels that he could do anything for the other
When we fall in love, our ability to understand what the other feels, so that we can feel both joy, sadness, or any other feeling and / or state as if it were our own.
This means that our ability to Being empathic increases , And by feeling what the other feels and understanding their emotions, we feel that we would do anything to see the person we are in love with.
9- We change things from us to like that person more
Yes, as you read it. We leave ourselves a little aside, to modify ourselves and to get closer to the ideal that we believe our partner seeks.
The things that can be modified can range from the priorities that have in the day to day, to change the way of dressing and even to realize gestures that were not realized before.
The vocabulary we use, as well as the values we had previously are also elements of which we are composed that can be modified by the simple fact of wanting to captivate more the person we like.
The tendency can be marked towards the ideal that poses the person of which we fall in love, or to try to look more to her in terms of tastes and way of being.
10- The infatuation is lived as an implication of exclusivity
Normally, falling in love is coupled with possessiveness. It is based on the idea and desire that the person of whom we are in love is only with us.
The implication of possession over the other and the desire for exclusivity during the stage of falling in love assures us as a species to survive, since the body and its impulses are regulated so that the courtship with the couple is not interrupted until it occurs the conception.
11- Marriage goes beyond sexuality
When people fall in love, emotional bonding is more important than sexual bonding. Although there is sexual attraction and an increase in libido Being with that person or thinking about it, not only does it seek to have sexual relations, but also the desire and need to maintain a receptive emotional bond with the person chosen.
The Fisher study found that 64% of people disagreed with the idea that sex is the most important in relationships.
It is important to keep in mind that the stage of falling in love does not last forever in the couple, and is part of one of the stages that occur in a relationship. But even when the previous signs disappear in a certain relationship, other different phases follow in which it continues to feel love for the couple but in a less intense way.
The initial phase of the couple relationships is accompanied by an intensity that for the organism is impossible to maintain over time. So do not feel the 11 symptoms mentioned above over the years does not mean that there is no love between the couple, but the phase of falling in love in its initial state has ended.
And what do you feel when you fall in love?